Got invited to a thing yesterday with some people I know.

So, when my shirt came out of the laundry with a stain burned in and I had to wear one that had been hanging on the line for weeks through rain and God knows what and when I realized -- as I've been showering at the gym -- that I didn't have any cleansing products and could only douse myself with warm wetness, I didn't honestly fear that my social comfort level would be diminished.

But then -- at the thing --  there were, um, not just people I know. And suddenly, I was possessed of that old, familiar feeling of conspicuous, inappropriate shabbiness. With only a whisper of warning, there was in my midst a heartless, gay clergyman and his courtesans, smoking and eating up the pastrami.  They were friends of the one person I already knew I didn't know and they only served to underscore how little I knew her and, somehow, eventually, I was sitting -- surrounded only by people I do know (plus one) -- hearing how the ideal group would include one or two other people and not me ("no offense") and I'm, like (in my mind),  I didn't ask to come to this thing, for God's sake, I was asked, practically implored.  

I mean, fuck, I've been in uncomfortable groupings like this before but it's usually been when I've forced myself into a scenario or was shoehorned in by a third party.

How do I get myself into situations like this? I need a manifesto and a hut. Fortunately, my phone already doesn't work.